What I have learned for 22 years of breathing, excreting and secreting has been sum up to these 22 points below. Let me remind you that these are not a life advise, I am not even a life coach something. This is not me preaching, just a random rant about what I hold for the past one year after ‘my 21 things I learned’. You are more than welcome to hold a different thoughts and ideas on each points. Cheers, mate!
1. Cutting some people off is not as bad as it sound
Not every friendship is worth to maintain and nurture. Not every ‘friend’ is good to be with – this will explain more. As you grow and getting mature, you’ve become more engage to your own self, in love with the soul you are living in and getting better at understanding those fiery fragile nagging soul. Well, it is not only happening to you, your friends, just like most of the people, get through the same phase too. They are getting ‘wiser’ the way you are getting ‘wiser’, but sometimes some basic changes happen and some people choose their ‘wise’ way on trying to make you the person they want to be with. Stop there, mate! If they can not afford to accept you the way you are now as you accept them the way they are, quit it!
2. Eating healthy is nice, eating MICIN is the BEST!
I can not lie that the flavourish mouth-watering taste by MSG added to the food is superb! Monosodium Glutamate may be the only advertisement that I buy, it sure did make your food a lot tastier, an artificial yum though. To be honest I’m in research of how food I ate affected my mood and my energy through the day. I write a daily record of what I ate since the beginning of May this year and I will come with a review for the first month and continue it every three months, maybe I’ll share it here later (( maybe )). I make sure that I ate less gorengan and cut at least one per day to eat outside. The healthier I become, the more I crave for food with umami taste a.k.a MSG.
Since I am a person who focus on one meal only, I eat MSG without a percent guilty and it felt GOOD! Anyway I put a note on myself, since MSG is that good and sometimes uplift my mood a bit (it works on me), something too much will ended up bad, even if it’s a good thing, so treat yourself MSG anytime you want it! Cheers!
3. Bad day is temporary
You will get over it. I know being in the moment of a bad day is exhausting especially when you have to meet lots of people, dealing with all the activity out of your bed and face some other annoying circumstances. In this article, Enke named her own particular bad feeling by “sonata” which help her feeling a lot less scary. In the end Enke concluded that none of the things she tried help her to overcome the feeling, she just has to allow herself to feel terrible sometime. Shockingly it made her feel easier to get through it.
Everybody has their own way to overcome their own bad day. For Enke and me, it would be totally different. I like to take a nap and have a marathon on my favorite show or movies. I don’t want to be bothered, even by talking to others. I just want to be alone, then when I get better I will just start a conversation and tell how bad my day was and unconsciously no longer feel the bad day anymore. The similarity between Enke and me is we both know not to push ourself to get better and admitted the feeling. Just like any good day that ended, every bad day has an end too.
4. You are always a good person
At least for somebody.
5. Doubt everything
6. Dress the way you like
7. Give yourself one damn good day on a week
The best prescription for you who live in busy days on thinking about yourself. Take a look on how well Nicki Minaj spent her day. What a good girl!
8. Doll up is a good remedy
Being pretty means feeling pretty in every way and everyday!
9. Focus on issues you like best
10. There’s no late start
I have been a cry baby lots of time when it comes to dream related issues. It is hard for me to move on from the fact that I didn’t even try the possibilities of being accepted as an International Relation student when I had the chance. I was too afraid to face the failure and fall, too lazy to gather all the scattered pieces when I broke down and now in my 22, sometimes I was still in grief. My friend, Zane said once “What men regret on their death-bed is not all the thing they had done, but the things they never done”.
I don’t wanna be a quitter no more. Maybe it is too late to be an IR student, but it is never late to continue the dream. IR is just a brick I wanted to put as my path to a bigger aim. Yes, I failed to put the IR brick but I have put another brick, I just have to continue. Once you start, you start.
11. Cooking is important, you don’t give up, soldier!
Yes, sir! I won’t quit (trying not to, at last). To be honest, I just have steam or boiled veggies when it comes to have a meal at home. The most advanced cook I have done so far these year is “ayam bumbu kuning” which failed because the taste was lack of bumbu kuning but more into baceman. I just don’t know, I have stated that cooking is an art, it can be pretty and crazy at the same time. And for this ayam bumbu kuning is just pretty crazy I guess.
My ability in cooking is vanished the time I lived with my aunt on last semester. I started to learn again from the basic, steam, boil and fry. But I have reached my limit, I’m so bored with boiled sweet potatoes, steam carrots and broccoli with scrambled egg, which is not consider scrambled, it’s just orak-arik. So, I’m going to cook more, but by the time I write this, May 30, garlic is IDR 60,000.00 per kg. I guess it has to be once a month first, if 60,000 spent just for garlic, I don’t put conditioner on my hair, have to cut my lotion and baby cologne on list for the next month. Garlic don’t make my life easier either. There you go, cooking is just push from the prior life value. God.. I have many reason when it comes to cook, at least I know I shouldn’t give up, right?
12. Forget is an ability to earn
I got this from a caption of instagram account called @siskayuanita, she is an editor at GPU.
“It is so humbling that humans have the ability to forget. Because life is more bearable with somethings forgotten. And sometimes, we could bear ourselves more with some things forgotten”
I think everybody will relate to these words, like I did.
13. Ghosting is a horrible thing to do! Stop that!
I am a sucker at this! I am a person who did this lots of time to some people I thought deserve this! I feel like there’s no need to explain why he/she deserve it, they hurt me in the most horrible thing I could tolerate. Despite on making those hurtful thoughts to be heard and intrigued another party to be (also) hurt, I’d rather kept it silence and ghost away my self. It makes no end to what hurts and for another party, it’s just a horrible thing to get. Sometimes ,people do not know that what they thought a right thing to do is actually not a right thing at all for others! They don’t realize that they hurt somebody thus they need to be reminded. That is a personal message for myself. Thanks Melanie!
14. Dimana bumi dipijak, disitu langit dijunjung
Perfect words!Perfectly captured what Lena Dunham said on her book ‘Not That Kind of Girl’ :
“Respect isn’t something you command through intimidation and intellectual bullying. It’s something you build through a long life of treating people how you want to be treated”
15. Be honest with yourself
It is hard to accept that, yesterday you hurt somebody’s feeling because of the words you said, some part of you will deny it by saying that she deserve it and that is your plea. No matter what reason you said, you can’t escape from the reality that you have hurt somebody’s feeling. Despite on what they had done to you, it’s still not a right thing to do to hurt somebody’s feeling. Be honest with your own self and forgive yourself!
16. Build your own support system!
It’s important for you to be content and to become one, you have to surround yourself with the best team of supporter. They are not the one ‘who will always cheer you up when you’re down’ kind of sweet friend, not even the one who will sing you a fan chant when you are at your busy struggle daily life, neither the one who always shed your tears and lend their ear. The one who makes you happy just by their existence because they allow you to be yourself and honor over your belief, value and convictions.
It is not only ok to choose the people you want to be with, it is a right thing to do instead. You have choices and you have the right to choose. I believe to be content starts with a small step as being with the RIGHT people.
17. Never forget to calm the hell down and chill!
18. Bad choices make good stories!
19. Saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you a bad person!
It is just fun to have extra money, energy and time for something that is really worth it, that made you happy at the end of the day. There is no wondering why you spent the money, energy and time towards something that you will regret later. Sarah Knight with her book ‘The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A F**k’ really is a nice guide to be more content with your life. She legitimate ‘no’ word that sometimes hold a sacred even consider rude to be something acceptable because that is everybody’s right. Everybody should enjoy her talk at TED Talk and be bold to say ‘no’ to something they don’t need or want to do!
20. Stop being ignorant of your environment
21. Money is not everything
22. Your dream is precious
So, you never stop!